Giving up on the idea of maintaining a
spotless house could have some serious health benefits, experts say. Photo: dpa/Tobias Hase
It can be difficult to keep on top of work,
leisure and family life all at once. But it gets easier when we are
prepared to look the other way once in a while, rather than expecting
everything to be perfect, experts say.
Should everything really be spick and span just because friends are coming over for dinner? Shouldn’t cuddling our toddler be more important than putting away the bricks they have just scattered all over the living room? Yes, of course it should. But how can we get there?
Peter Falkai, a psychiatrist who sits on the board of the German Society for Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, Psychosomatic Medicine and Neurology, recommends respecting our perfectionism. “It only causes damage when it actually imposes restrictions on us,” he says.
So there is nothing wrong with tidying up the kitchen in the evening if we find it relaxing. When our love of tidiness keeps us from doing things we like to do, however, we should set ourselves clear priorities.
“We need to keep telling ourselves that the most important thing for our health is the social connections we experience,” the expert says.
That means meeting with friends means more to us than a tidy dining table without friends.
There is something else that may help: admitting to ourselves that sometimes, we simply cannot live up to our own expectations. “It is a fantasy that we keep chasing after but can never attain,” Falkai says.
So next time you catch yourself starting to tidy away pieces of your child’s jigsaw puzzle, why not try helping them to complete the puzzle instead? “Or, even better, just lying on the floor and playing about with the child,” Falkai says.
When it comes to tidiness, looking the other way is definitely something we need to practise. – dpa
Should everything really be spick and span just because friends are coming over for dinner? Shouldn’t cuddling our toddler be more important than putting away the bricks they have just scattered all over the living room? Yes, of course it should. But how can we get there?
Peter Falkai, a psychiatrist who sits on the board of the German Society for Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, Psychosomatic Medicine and Neurology, recommends respecting our perfectionism. “It only causes damage when it actually imposes restrictions on us,” he says.
So there is nothing wrong with tidying up the kitchen in the evening if we find it relaxing. When our love of tidiness keeps us from doing things we like to do, however, we should set ourselves clear priorities.
“We need to keep telling ourselves that the most important thing for our health is the social connections we experience,” the expert says.
That means meeting with friends means more to us than a tidy dining table without friends.
There is something else that may help: admitting to ourselves that sometimes, we simply cannot live up to our own expectations. “It is a fantasy that we keep chasing after but can never attain,” Falkai says.
So next time you catch yourself starting to tidy away pieces of your child’s jigsaw puzzle, why not try helping them to complete the puzzle instead? “Or, even better, just lying on the floor and playing about with the child,” Falkai says.
When it comes to tidiness, looking the other way is definitely something we need to practise. – dpa
